The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101.
Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below.
Write at least 150 words.
Sample A
The graph gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101.
In 1901 the birth rate was 20,000 and the death rate was 9,000. In 1961 the birth rate reached a peak of 66,000 while the death rate was 23,000. In 2001 there were 55,000 births and 38,000 deaths, and in 2061 there were 60,000 deaths and 48,000 births.
At the end of the period there were 58,000 deaths and 45,000 births.
Both the births and death rates changed between 1901 and 2101. Perhaps this was because a lot of people did not want to have children.
(105 words)
Assessment
This is a weak answer which would score a low IELTS band. Problems.
- under length.
- introduction is copied from task
- no comparison between figures
- no focus on general trends
- no reference to the future (see projection on graph)
- conclusion tried to explain information rather than summarise it
- poor linking of ideas (only done by time markers)
- limited range of grammar and vocabulary.
Sample B
The graph shows changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand since 1901, and forecasts trends up until 2101. It can be seen that the death rate will probably overtake the birth rate in around 2041 and the large gap between the two levels will increase with time.
Between 1901 and the present day, the birth rate has been consistently higher than the death rate. It stood at 20,000 at the start of this period and increased to a peak of 66,000 in 1961. Since then the rate has fluctuated between 65 and 50 thousand and it is expected to decline slowly to around 45,000 births by the end of century.
In contrast, the death rate started below 10,000 and has increased steadily until the present time. This increase is expected to be more rapid between 2021 and 2051 when the rate will probably level off around 60,000, before dropping slightly in 2101.
(166 words)
Assessment
This is a strong answer which would score a high IELTS band. Good points.
- fulfils criteria for length
- introduction is paraphrased
- main sets of data are compared and contrasted
- clear focus on the different trends
- important features of the graph, (e.g. cross-over point) included
- information summarised in conclusion
- well organised information
- range of linkers and referencing expressions
- good range of vocabulary and structures, used accurately